I need to apologize to you folks. Last week I promised to write about alchemy and astrology, yet something of great urgency has been brought to my attention. I failed to realize that today is St. Patrick's Day and we are also in the year of the Leprechaun. Something that people don't recognize is the close relationship of St. Patrick's Day and alchemy. Have you ever wondered how Leprechauns accrue their massive hoards of gold?! The answer is alchemy! Leprechauns are the only race to have unlocked all the secrets of alchemy. They can turn lead into gold, strangely they didn't take advantage of the life extending qualities of the elixir of life.
Today many people are skeptical of the existence of Leprechauns, but we know of them primarily through the writings of Plato. Plato wrote of their capital city, Atlantis in his dialogues of Timaeus and Critias. The once expansive city of Atlantis was home to the Leprechaun civilization and its many inventions, including high-water pants, the radio, honeydew, the sport we now know as "baseball" and of course alchemy. Sadly Atlantis was destroyed by the same meteor that mercilessly slaughtered the dinosaurs. There are still some clues and atifacts that prove the existance of Leprechauns. There have been some example of Leprechaun writings, mostly weather reports. One of these weather reports was found by Napoleon in Egypt during his invasion of the land of gold and sand. This tablet, known as the Rosetta Stone revealed the ancient Leprechaun language now referred to as hieroglyphics. Most people believe that this is a letter from Ptolemy XIV to an Egyptian priest, but this is an alteration. In order to protect the legacy and secrecy of the Leprechaun civilization Alberto Fermi, the Chief Inspector of the Ministry of Communications of Rome during the early twentieth century in an elaborate heist stole the Rosetta Stone from the British Museum in London and replaced it with a much more benign tablet showcasing simple Egyptian writings. No one knows where the original stone is now, some believe deep beneath Macon Georgia, though many argue it was laid to rest with former American president William Howard "T-Bone" Taft.
And remember friends and fellow Leprechaun historians when the clock crows nine and the love goddess wails look to the east.
Today many people are skeptical of the existence of Leprechauns, but we know of them primarily through the writings of Plato. Plato wrote of their capital city, Atlantis in his dialogues of Timaeus and Critias. The once expansive city of Atlantis was home to the Leprechaun civilization and its many inventions, including high-water pants, the radio, honeydew, the sport we now know as "baseball" and of course alchemy. Sadly Atlantis was destroyed by the same meteor that mercilessly slaughtered the dinosaurs. There are still some clues and atifacts that prove the existance of Leprechauns. There have been some example of Leprechaun writings, mostly weather reports. One of these weather reports was found by Napoleon in Egypt during his invasion of the land of gold and sand. This tablet, known as the Rosetta Stone revealed the ancient Leprechaun language now referred to as hieroglyphics. Most people believe that this is a letter from Ptolemy XIV to an Egyptian priest, but this is an alteration. In order to protect the legacy and secrecy of the Leprechaun civilization Alberto Fermi, the Chief Inspector of the Ministry of Communications of Rome during the early twentieth century in an elaborate heist stole the Rosetta Stone from the British Museum in London and replaced it with a much more benign tablet showcasing simple Egyptian writings. No one knows where the original stone is now, some believe deep beneath Macon Georgia, though many argue it was laid to rest with former American president William Howard "T-Bone" Taft.
And remember friends and fellow Leprechaun historians when the clock crows nine and the love goddess wails look to the east.
-John Manke and Apprentice John Klimp esq.
